Dogs have no use for treadmills, a sure sign they are smarter than people.

I'm going to go out on a limb and proffer a couple of thoughts regarding Christmas gifts, as the current ritual involving the exchange of pseudo-random material goods is both very odd to me, as well as strangely dissatisfying^[1].

Ironic side-note: The country that is the most awash in consumer durables celebrates the holidays by purchasing even more consumer durables. It's like asking for a 2nd dinner entree after you've eaten your entire 3-course meal.

(Check out the documentary Affluenza [link] if you're unconvinced).

What I'd like most for Christmas from the people who feel compelled to get me a gift (compelled by either guilt, a sense of familial obligation, or even a genuinely beneficial feeling that I should be happier than I am, etc) is the following:

Write down your favorite memory from the past year on a piece of paper, or in a card, and send it to me. The "writing" part should be somewhere between 1 sentence and 1-2 paragraphs.

Bonus points are awarded for the subtle (and the sublime) - meaning, when you first saw the Eiffel Tower and it took your breath away ... that's sort of a cliche-type favorite memory ... and is "technically" correct ... so it's okay if that happens to be your favorite memory, but on the other hand: it's the one that everyone has when they see the Eiffel Tower. So bonus points for memories that essentially, only you, can have.

Said another way: memories that reveal something about you, rather than about the Eiffel Tower (or that reveal something that's shared by nearly everyone [E.g.: "I saw the sunrise over the beach and felt wonderful to be alive", and/or "I saw the Eiffel Tower and it took my breath away"]).

Trust me when i say gifts that are of the "consumer durable" type cause me more chagrin than joy as:

1. It is very rare indeed when someone guesses what i might actually need and gets that exact thing
2. I'd like to do my part to climb down off of the treadmill of endless conspicuous consumer consumption
3. i personally don't find said gifts to be satisfying in a "what did i do before i owned this item!?!"-sort of way.

Does this make sense?

It's strictly optional - I will like all of you regardless of whether you heed my advice, that is, unless someone gets me a shrimp deveiner ... then we're gonna have to have a little talk :-)

--tom